It is a day which makes me feel inadequate and unlovable. The worst part is that I end up feeling very ungrateful for what I have because I am so focused on what I don't have.....you know someone to love me and for me to love in return. My focus strays to all my shortcomings and I concentrate so hard on all my flaws that I really to do tend to feel like a Valentine Grinch.......by the end of the day.
Today will has been no different!! I have had news of friends who have gotten engaged and some even announcing their pregnancy. Now don't get me wrong.....I am very happy for these friends and share in their excitement and joy but for every minute of happiness I experience a moment of deep unrelenting agony, a moment when the "woe is me" becomes so big and so overwhelming that I want to find the nearest dark corner and just cry and cry.......
I know I am loved.....my parents, my extended family and my friends so I don't lack love in my life but one of my greatest fears is that I will never experience true and lasting romantic love. Now, most days I don't give it a second thought but on a day designed for romance and love it is difficult to escape these feelings.
It also does not help that at yesterdays memorial service I saw not one, not two, not three but wait for it four of the men who in the past 15 years have
So for those of you who are blessed to have a special someone in your life enjoy this day of celebration and for those of you who like me still cling to hope....." Being single doesn't mean no one wants you....it just means that God is busy writing your love story". I may sometimes think there is a case of writers block when it comes to my story but I hold onto the knowledge that "All things work together for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose".
Someday I will know your face......
No comments:
Post a Comment