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| I apologise for the quality but heck it is 41 years old.....next to my mom is my dad's mom and just over mom's shoulder is my dad's dad. The two little angels in front are my two eldest girl cousins!!! |
My mom and dad come from very different backgrounds. Dad was raised in an English speaking home and was an only child. His mom was a stickler for manners and his dad was not the most affectionate of men. Dad was an airforce pilot with BIG dreams. Mom grew up in an Afrikaans home and is the youngest of 7. Their home was on a farm and the family loud and boisterous. Mom worked as a secretary and her world was quite small.
But they fell in love and found common ground in just about everything. They found a common faith, they chose to have a medium sized family (did not quite work out that way as my mom lost my elder brother late in to her pregnancy and suffered a second miscarriage when my brother was about 7). The language thing is always interesting. If you ask my mom what language they speak her answer is always "Ons vry en baklei in Engels en gesels in Afrikaans" which translated means that they make out and argue in English and chat in Afrikaans!!! And it is very true!!! My dad even got used to the size and closeness of mom's sisters. Dad always says that if you cut one the rest bleed and that is so true!!!
My folks have been through a lot together from having plenty to having nothing, from being healthy to be sickly and from being young to growing old. They have had to fight the onslaught of Satan together and have had to offer up prayers of thanksgiving. They have faced life change decisions and have made life altering adjustments. When my dad was without work (after being made redundant) my mom would say that as financial problems walk in the front door, love tends to walk out the back but she was not going to let that happen.......she often told me that "a women on her knees, keeps a man on his feet". I grew up with family prayer time before bed, I grew up knowing God because my parents had sought to have a relationship with HIM.
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| It rained the whole day..... |
When I ask my mom what makes her marriage work she always says "Lili never go to bed angry. If you can't find a solution don't go to bed. But NEVER EVER go to bed angry"!!!
Dad has a different view...he says that when he was getting ready for the wedding his mom told him to make a list of all the things about my mom which bugged him. And if one of those things cropped up he had to forgive her and move on because it was on the list. He never made a list but whenever something cropped up that bugged him he would think to himself "She's lucky that ones on the list"!!!
I am very proud of the example they have set for my brother and I....and maybe that's to their detriment because my standards are set very high and well God's still working on the man who can meet those standards. I was showing off the photos today at work and was struck at how surprised many were at the longevity of my parents marriage. But, I know their real secret.......mom and dad have made God a partner in their marriage and as each strives towards a better relationship with God they move closer to each other. God is the foundation of their relationship and kindness, forgiveness, gentleness, understanding are the walls and love....well love is the roof that tops it all off!!! They CHOOSE everyday to love each other, they CHOOSE to forgive each other and everyday they CHOOSE to honour their Heavenly Father by honouring the vows they took on 03 April 1971!!!
So to da and moeksie....thank you for setting an amazing example, thank you for teaching us how to love, how to forgive and how never to go to bed angry. I know it is not always easy, especially as old age starts to rob you of your health but I know that no matter what we will face the future together as a family because you loved each other first......
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| Mom and dad today!!! |
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