Have you ever tried to mend a vase or something similarly precious that had fallen and shattered on the floor? Hundreds of bits and pieces form an almost impossible puzzle and it is only through hours of painstaking patience and determination that you can almost mend the vase. But once it has been repaired, it is never the same as it was before. Water leaks through the cracks, edges are rough and uneven. This is because you are trying to restore the broken item to its original state which is impossible.
There is however some good news. With just a little bit of imagination and inspiration you can do so much more! Each little piece, when examined alone is seen for its own unique beauty. Together these little pieces can be used to create a new work of art. It would be different from the first but still a work of art. I’ve seen such beautiful and creative art works where bits of glass were used to make mosaics, collages, mirrors, picture frames, and so much more. There is no telling when looking at these pieces what their original purpose had been? Would I have been that impressed with the glass chip when it was still part of a vase? Yet I marvel at its beauty as it hangs in its new form in a gallery.
This year has been tough. I have never worked so hard in all my life and on top of my dad being as sick as he has I have been trying to come to terms with my chronic asthma and all the other life changing adversities… However, what I think has left me shattered and broken is my asthma it has had an enormous impact on my life and it continues to do so in the most limiting way. One by one I have held the broken pieces up to the light, trying to figure out where they belonged. Turning them every which way, but ultimately I struggled to fit them back into their original places to restore the person I once had been. Every now and then I spot a glint of sunlight reflecting off a sharp shard and I’d throw it away. Then at times, I’d find a piece that was different and I’d realize that this little piece was exquisite. After years of futile effort, I’ve come to the realization that the person I once had been can never be restored to her original state……I am always going to have asthma and it is always going to limit my life. But God has blessed me with a unique opportunity to take all these lovely little pieces of my broken life and to build someone new. Little bits and pieces of me, that were invisible in the past, are now given a chance to shine.
I have shared my need to restore my MUCHNESS with you and this seems to be a more intense process than I first envisioned. And turning over a new leaf is never easy especially when it comes to the whole eating healthily, drinking water and exercising thing. I started this blog over a year ago because I had made a decision to start living my best life well then Jenny passed, I got sick and one excuse on top of another become my daily mantra for not taking control of my life. I keep on saying I am going to stop allowing circumstance and others to steal my joy, I talk about taking back control over my life and I often mention how I am going to make peace with my asthma and deal with consequences of having a chronic disease.
But I lie, I stretch the truth, I fake……I do everything but accept that I need to pick up the pieces and make the changes. BUT that has changed!! It is painful to have your life shattered and it may seem impossible to pick up those pieces. Sometimes we don’t even know where to start. Any form of repair and reconstruction is a long process. But it is also an opportunity to re-invent yourself to become the person you would like to be. It is a unique opportunity to look closely at the beautiful bits of you. To hold them up to the light and appreciate the way they shine.
So I am CHOOSING to pick up the pieces and design a new Lisa. Yes she will have asthma, yes she will have a demanding job and yes she will still have to be there for her family. BUT I CHOOSE to be fit, healthy and strong in order to do so. I CHOOSE to start eating healthy, I CHOOSE to drink water (which I really really really really really don’t like the taste of) and I CHOOSE to exercise. As of last week I am on a water drinking schedule which one of my team
me stick to. As of yesterday I am eating
more healthy meals…low GI and low fat.
And as of last night I am exercising.
I CHOOSE to make these changes so that I can move on from my shattered life, I CHOOSE to stop wasting time trying to rebuild the past, I CHOOSE to appreciate the gift of building a new future…..one fit for a wall in the Louvre . I CHOOSE to hand over all the pieces of my broken life to God and I CHOOSE to let Him mend it.
God can help me (and you) turn the little bits and pieces into a wonderful work of art…….we just have to CHOOSE to let Him!!!