Which number do you want, George?
You got more than one?
Shit, yeah. I got numbers coming out of my ears. Like, for instance, ten.
Sure. That's one of my numbers. It's how many months old my little girl is.
You got a little girl?
Yeah. Sexy, huh? And here's another: five. That's how old my other daughter is. Seven is my son's age. Two is how many times I been married and divorced. You getting all this? 16 is the number of dollars in my bank account. 454-3943 is my phone number. And with all the numbers I gave you, I'm guessing zero is the number of times you're gonna call it.
Life really is a numbers game, your zip code, your bank balance, age and heaven help your weight.
As much as it bugs me it is important to know your numbers. So tonight is the big weigh in. I will know how much I weigh, how much I should weigh and how many kilograms stand between the two.
I really have no desire to know these numbers because once I know them I can’t pretend I don’t. Then it is without a shadow of a doubt time to deal with the battle of the bulge. Helping me in this effort are the photos from a work function held on Friday. GOOD GRIEF when did I turn into the Oros man. It is just plain disgusting…….my arms are the size of a tree trunk and man let’s not talk about the cottage cheese butt and hamburger stomach. How is it that I go about my life thinking I look like Angelina Jolie or Sandra Bullock when in fact I mostly resemble a tub of lard.
Ok, in all honestly in the far regions of my mind, the dark and damp recesses of my brain I know I am no Sports Illustrated swimsuit model but this…..it was simply shocking to see myself looking so bad. EMBARRASSING!!!!!! But the eye opener was worth it. Losing weight was always part of my best life programme but I had 20kg in mind not like 50kg which is what I am sure my number is going to be.
BREATHE……so tonight I go weigh and we will see what my numbers are and once I know I am going to have to deal with them!!!