So it's that time of the year again...you know endless end year functions, Christmas and new year parties and because it is summer time in South Africa wedding season.
I am once again having my "single" status highlighted in freaking neon colours and just for today I am CHOOSING to indulge myself pity and let it all out....because I did not CHOOSE this life for myself and the truth of the matter is...
Do you know what it feels like to feel alone in a crowded
room?
Do you know what it feels like to watch the life growing
beneath your heart move and know that I will never experience that?
Do you know what searing pain and fear shoots through your
entire being when you read “plus 1” on an invitation?
Do you know what it feels like to have to be seated at a different
table at weddings and other functions just because you are single?
Do you know what it feels like to see you so loved and know
that I never will be?
Do you know what it feels like to walk into a room filled
with people with no one at your back?
Do you know what it feels like to deal with every single
problem on your own?
Do you know what it feels like to know that all your friends
are in love?
Do you know what it feels like to never be invited out
because you throw the table seating out?
Do you know what it feels like to have others look at you
with sympathy because you are alone?
Do you know what it feels like to have others stare at you
because you are going to a movie on your own, out to dinner on your own?
Do you know what it feels like to always set the table with
one plate, one knife, one fork and one glass?
Do you know what it feels like to stand in front of a stove
and cook for one?
Do you know what it feels like to spend time getting ready for
work or a function and to have no one say you look nice let alone that you look
beautiful or sexy?
Do you know what it feels like to watch a family making
sandcastles on the beach while you know that your sandcastles have long ago
been washed away by the tide?
Do you know what it feels like to watch a romantic movie
with no one to hold you?
Do you know what it feels like to wonder how long it will be before anyone finds your body should you die during the night?
Do you know what it feels like to wonder how long it will be before anyone finds your body should you die during the night?
Do you know what it feels like to live in fear of dying
alone?
Do you know what it feels like to cry alone and know that
there will never be someone to reach out and wipe away your tears?
Do you know what it feels like to miss someone you have
never met?
Do you know how frustrating it is to have to pay a “single”
traveller supplement every time I travel?
Do you know how much I want to stab a knife through your
eyeball every time you ask “So, why aren’t you married”?
Do you know how much money I have spent on wedding,
engagement, baby shower and kids birthday party presents?
Do you know how difficult it is to make healthy food choices
when it’s for one?
Do you know how difficult it is to motivate yourself to go
to gym or diet when no one sees you naked…EVER?
Do you know how uneventful it is to cross an item off your
bucket list when you have no one to share it with?
Do you know how pathetic it is to watch a beautiful sunset
on your own, to take a long walk on the beach on your own and to dance in the
rain on your own?
Do you know how hollow your laugh sounds when you laugh out loud and there is no one else with you?
Do you know how hollow your laugh sounds when you laugh out loud and there is no one else with you?
Do you know how it feels to watch others walk down the
street holding hands while your hands are hanging by your side?
Do you know how it feels to have to say out loud “I am
single” ?
Do you know how it feels to ALWAYS have to be in control
because there is no else to shoulder the burden?
Do you know how long a night can be when you have no one to
talk to?
Do you know how lonely a bed can be when you have no one to
share it with?
Do you know how insignificant your day becomes when you come
home and there is no one to talk to about your day?
Do you know how it feels to go days without being touched by
another person?
Do you even care?
No comments:
Post a Comment