Today its back to reality for me.
As some of you may know, mom and I went down to my dad’s favourite fishing hole to scatter his ashes on what would have been his 70th birthday.
Mom and I walked the Stillbaai beach for about an hour before we found a spot that seemed just right. That sounds all kinds of wrong but what I mean by just right is the fact that there were fishermen on the rocks and surfers on longboards out waiting for the right waves and the sun was shining so beautifully off the ocean that it seemed like a good spot.
We had not really discussed what we wanted to do once we found “dad’s spot” but as I stood watching the surfers and feeling the sun on my face I felt moved to pray. I gathered my mom and my aunts who had joined us together and we held hands as the words flowed from my heart. I don’t remember much of the moment, I was emotional and beside myself.
Then each of my aunts took turns scattering my dad’s ashes into the ocean. When it was my turn I was so reluctant, it suddenly all felt so final to me. I walked into the water and did not even register how cold it was, I felt the sand between my toes but that was about it. Holding “my dad” for the last time was bittersweet. As I scattered his ashes into the waves I “heard” a word inside me…..”fly”. My dad was a pilot for so many years and flying was his passion so instead of scattering the rest into the water, I held my hand up to the sky and let the wind take dad on one last flight. Then my heart broke….
My mom stood on “his” rocks when it was her turn. She could not walk all the way in as she wanted to but the sea was a little rough and I was so worried about her slipping on the wet rocks. But she said her final goodbyes and released the last of the ashes.
It was not the most pleasant of moment but there was something to “letting” go of the last of dad’s earthly remains. I wish my brother could have been with us because I do feel like he was missing from the occasion.
We spent the next week in MosselBay and I can’t wait to share this quaint little seaside town with you all.
|Trying to be brave|
|Blessed with a beautiful day......for winter|
|Searching for the "perfect" spot|
|We found "it"|
|Saying "goodbye" to Darra|
|My mom scatters her "lovie's" ashes|
|Dads final resting place "sort of)|